Finding Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support Resources

After a pregnancy or infant loss, “find support” can sound like simple advice. In reality, it can be surprisingly difficult to know where to start.

Support might mean sitting with a therapist. It might mean joining an online group where other parents understand the experience without needing an explanation. It might be talking with a social worker who can help you navigate practical concerns. Or it may simply mean finding a reliable organization with information you can read privately, on your own time.

There is no requirement to choose just one.

Different kinds of support serve different purposes, and what feels useful can change from one week to the next. A person who does not want to talk with a counselor right now may still appreciate a moderated online community. Someone who prefers privacy may feel more comfortable beginning with a phone or text resource. Another person may want professional care from the beginning.

The goal is not to find the “right” kind of support. It is to find support that fits what you need and what you are comfortable with right now.

Start With the People Already Connected to Your Care

If you recently experienced a pregnancy loss, your obstetrician, midwife, primary care provider, or other healthcare professional can be a useful starting point.

You do not have to arrive with a plan for what kind of help you want.

You can simply say:

Your healthcare team may be able to connect you with a counselor, social worker, support group, or other local resource. ACOG specifically recommends talking with an ob-gyn about finding a therapist, psychiatrist, support group, social worker, or other community resource after pregnancy loss.

If your loss occurred in a hospital, ask whether the hospital has a social worker, bereavement coordinator, or pregnancy-loss program. These professionals may know about local resources that are difficult to find through a general internet search.

Professional Support: When You Want Someone Trained to Help

A therapist or other mental health professional can provide a private place to talk through what you are experiencing.

Professional support can be particularly useful if you are dealing with anxiety, depression, overwhelming emotions, difficulty functioning, intrusive memories, sleep problems, or other symptoms that are making everyday life difficult. ACOG notes that therapy and psychiatric care can be helpful after miscarriage or stillbirth and recommends seeking help when symptoms such as persistent anxiety, hopelessness, difficulty caring for yourself, or other concerning symptoms continue.

Depending on your needs, you might look for:

• A therapist experienced in grief or bereavement
• A mental health professional with perinatal or reproductive-loss experience
• A psychiatrist
• A licensed clinical social worker
• A counselor who works with couples or families
• A provider who offers telehealth if traveling to an office feels difficult

Postpartum Support International maintains a directory where families can search for providers and support groups with perinatal mental health experience.

Questions to ask before scheduling

You can contact a provider before making an appointment and ask:

• Do you work with pregnancy or infant loss?
• What types of loss do you have experience supporting?
• Do you work with partners or couples as well as individuals?
• Do you offer virtual appointments?
• Do you accept my insurance?
• What is the cost if I am paying privately?
• What can I expect from a first appointment?

You are allowed to decide that a particular provider does not feel like a good fit.

Peer Support: Talking With Someone Who Has Been There

Sometimes what you want is different from professional counseling.

You may want to talk with someone who understands the experience from personal experience rather than from professional training.

Peer support can provide that connection.

Some programs match bereaved parents with trained peer companions who have experienced pregnancy or infant loss themselves. Star Legacy Foundation, for example, offers a free peer-companion program and makes an effort to match families with someone who has a similar loss experience when possible.

This type of support can be especially appealing if you find yourself thinking:

Peer support is not a replacement for medical or mental health care when professional care is needed. Instead, it can exist alongside it—or simply be the kind of connection someone prefers.

Support Groups: Shared Experience Without Going It Alone

Support groups can look very different from one another.

Some meet in person. Others meet through video calls. Some are designed specifically for miscarriage, while others include stillbirth, neonatal loss, or infant death. Some are for parents, while others are designed for fathers, grandparents, siblings, or extended family members.

That distinction matters.

For example, Star Legacy Foundation currently offers separate virtual groups for early pregnancy loss, later pregnancy loss, infant loss, dads, grandparents and extended family, parenting after loss, and pregnancy after loss.

Postpartum Support International also offers virtual pregnancy and infant loss groups facilitated by trained facilitators.

Before joining, look at the description carefully. You may feel more comfortable in a group specifically related to your experience rather than a broad grief group.

And remember that attending once does not commit you to continuing.

You can listen.

You can participate.

You can leave early.

You can decide later whether you want to return.

Online Resources Can Be a First Step

Not everyone is ready for a conversation.

Sometimes reading is easier than talking.

Online resources can provide educational information, stories from other families, directories of support groups, and ways to connect without requiring you to make an appointment immediately.

Organizations such as March of Dimes maintain dedicated pregnancy-loss and grief resources, including information about miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death, and finding support.

Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support provides both local and online options, including support chapters and online communities.

First Candle also offers peer-to-peer online support groups for miscarriage, stillbirth, sudden infant death, and other pregnancy and infant loss experiences.

Online support can be useful when you need flexibility, privacy, or the ability to participate from home.

One important precaution

Not every online group is moderated, professionally facilitated, or designed specifically for pregnancy and infant loss.

Before sharing personal information, check:

• Who runs the group
• Whether posts are moderated
• What privacy rules are in place
• Whether members are expected to follow community guidelines
• Whether the group is specific to your type of loss
• What happens if someone needs immediate mental health or crisis support

A large group is not automatically a better resource. A smaller, well-moderated community may feel more comfortable.

Trusted Organizations to Know

If searching for resources feels overwhelming, starting with established organizations can make the process easier.

Postpartum Support International

PSI provides resources related to pregnancy, pregnancy loss, and postpartum mental health. Its services include loss-specific support groups, a provider directory, and other support options.

Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support

Share offers pregnancy and infant loss support through local chapters, online support opportunities, and other resources. Its current state directory includes resources in Arizona and other states.

Star Legacy Foundation

Star Legacy provides resources for families affected by pregnancy loss, stillbirth, and infant loss, including peer support and virtual groups. Its programs also include options for dads, grandparents, extended family, and families experiencing pregnancy after loss.

March of Dimes

March of Dimes has an extensive section devoted to miscarriage, loss, and grief, along with educational materials and information about additional support organizations.

National Maternal Mental Health Hotline

The U.S. Health Resources & Services Administration operates the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262). It provides free, confidential support by call or text 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and counselors can provide information and referrals to additional care.

How Do You Know Which Resource to Try?

Instead of asking yourself which type of support is “best,” consider what you want help with right now.

If you are looking for…	You might consider…
A private place to work through difficult emotions	Therapist or counselor
Help with anxiety, depression, or more serious symptoms	Mental health professional or healthcare provider
Someone with personal experience of loss	Peer companion or peer-support group
Connection with other bereaved parents	Pregnancy and infant loss support group
Support without leaving home	Virtual group or online community
Help finding local services	Healthcare provider, hospital social worker, or established nonprofit
Support for a partner or family member	Family/couples counseling or a group designed for partners or relatives
Information before you are ready to talk	Reputable educational websites and resource organizations

You may also move between these options.

For example, you might start by reading information online, eventually attend a virtual group, and later decide that individual counseling would be useful. Or you might discover that peer support is enough for what you need at a particular point.

What Your First Step Can Look Like

Reaching out can feel like a bigger task than it actually is.

You do not need to explain your entire experience in the first message.

Try something simple:

For a therapist:

For a support group:

You can also ask someone you trust to make the first phone call with you, sit beside you while you fill out a form, or help you compare a few options.

Asking for help does not require you to be ready for everything that comes with it.

Give Yourself Permission to Look for the Right Fit

The first resource you find may not be the one you keep.

A group might meet at a difficult time. A provider may not specialize in the kind of loss you experienced. An online community may feel too active. A counselor may simply not feel like someone you connect with.

That does not mean support is not helpful.

It may simply mean you have not found the right format yet.

When evaluating a resource, consider four practical questions:

Does it understand my experience?
Look for a group or provider that specifically identifies the types of loss or family circumstances they support.

Do I feel respected?
Your questions, boundaries, identity, family structure, and way of grieving should be treated with respect.

Is it realistic for me to use?
Consider cost, transportation, appointment availability, language, childcare, technology, and scheduling.

Do I feel comfortable enough to return?
You do not need to feel completely comfortable immediately, but you should feel that you are being treated with care and respect.

While You Are Looking for Support, Take Care of the Basics

Searching for help can take energy you may not have.

Keep the process small.

You might save three organizations in your phone today and investigate one tomorrow. You might ask your healthcare provider for one referral rather than searching through dozens of providers yourself.

You can also let someone else help with the logistics.

A partner, friend, relative, or trusted healthcare professional can help you:

• Make phone calls
• Research local groups
• Check insurance coverage
• Keep track of appointments
• Drive you to an appointment
• Sit with you during a virtual group
• Help you decide which options to try first

You do not have to organize every part of your support system at once.

Support Is a Choice, Not a Requirement

Some people want frequent conversation after a loss. Others need privacy. Some prefer professional counseling. Others feel most understood by people who have experienced a similar loss. Some people want several forms of support, while others may not want any formal support at all.

Your needs may also change.

What matters today may not be what you need a month from now.

If you decide to seek support, you can begin with one conversation, one group, one phone call, or one trusted resource. You can ask questions before committing to anything. And you can change direction if something does not feel right.

The purpose of support is not to tell you how to grieve.

It is to give you access to people, information, and care that may make the experience a little less difficult to navigate on your own.

When More Immediate Help Is Needed

Grief and emotional distress can be difficult to carry, but some situations require prompt professional attention.

If you are having thoughts of suicide or hurting yourself, call or text 988 for the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. The service provides 24/7 crisis support in the United States. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department.

For non-emergency maternal mental health support and referrals, the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline is available at 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262) by call or text, 24/7.

A Note From Pregnancy Smart

Finding support after pregnancy or infant loss is personal. You do not have to choose a particular type of support because someone else found it helpful.

Start where you feel most comfortable. Ask questions. Take your time. And if the first resource does not fit, it is okay to keep looking.

There are people and organizations whose work is specifically focused on supporting families through pregnancy and infant loss.

You do not have to figure out all of the options at once.

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Educational Disclaimer: This article is for general educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, or replace individualized medical, mental health, or bereavement care. Pregnancy and infant loss can affect people in different ways, and the information and resources that are appropriate for one person may not be appropriate for another. Speak with your healthcare provider or a qualified mental health professional about your individual circumstances and support needs.